Here Comes Memory; Nothing Ever Was.
The minute i view the list of songs i have in my laptop, and played it, i realised that the playlist was not updated with new songs for ages. I was listening to almost all of the songs and ended up sinking in the melody while it brought me from one unforgettable memories to another in secondary school and also some past events.
I've got some straightening out to do.
.
To whom it may concern,
it's happening again. today's full of reminiscence. It's when i'm too focused that my mind just have to wander off. Worst, it wanders to the past. I've been busy mugging. But all i keep thinking about, besides the books and papers, is you.
.
it's happening again. it was when he was ignorant that you entered and made a mess in my life. you know better. now, you've made a mess in my head. head aching after aching. continued with spinning indefinitely. til it stops at the very moment when i first met you; last year. something that is not worth remembering. It's funny when we thought that it was a start of something new but it ended so soon. Reason being, you weren't sure who i really am. Bullshit. I don't need a person like you in my life. A friend who left when one is in need is simply cracked shit especially when he knows she's not very happy with her life at that very moment. I swear i didn't know what you were thinking but then it hit me. I could see things clearly. I chose to end it. Simply because I knew I was used.
it's when he's busy again and all packed with his own activities that i couldn't help but think, if there's love, there should be trust. if there's no trust, then there'll be no love. i love him but trust is a whole different ball game in this matter. Comparison should never be done between you and him in the first place. But i thought you were what i was looking for and then you left. I was thankful then it went nowhere yet, and i still have him. He's better in all ways. In fact, he's the best. He's tolerant, forgiving and understanding. And that's not all, he gave me everything that he could give. He always want the best for me.
You see, you didn't know i had him. Because, i refused to disclose it to you. I thought it wasn't important. But what i did, was a stupid act. I should have known. I should have stop.
He is everything to me. He is important.
So please leave. Get out from my head now you, past.
